The Barnum Effect

Chance encounter with Rose sleeved and protected; Friendship will blossom?

The sun and moon hang opposite one another in the sky, sparring partners constantly challenging one another for ascendancy. The moon is rising as the sun retreats, and so the harsh hot rays will soon give way to a calm cool glow. Our species hurls itself towards extinction. All creatures have their time; as we followed the dinosaurs another life form will dominate when we fail. Perhaps the cockroaches will be preeminent. My money is on the corvids. Ravens, rooks, crows, jays, magpies, and jackdaws. They're the brightest of the bird species: self-aware, cooperative, problem solving and tool making. Odin's ravens (thought and memory) flew out each day and returned to keep him informed about the world. Perhaps they travel still; learning from our follies readying for their time. Native Americans speak of Raven causing the world flood before bringing back the land; thus ending the age of animals, and beginning the age of man. This time man will make the flood. What will happen ther

Wasps have taken up residence in the brick cavity under the living room window of my London digs. It was dusk when I spotted them coming in to roost for the night. It was fascinating to watch them line up on approach like planes coming in to land at Heathrow, but miniaturised and speeded up. As each landed there was a plinking thump, rattle and rustle. The noise was quite loud and very unnerving. The landlady is getting a man in to get the wasps out. Meanwhile all windows are battened down, and we bake like loaves in the oven.

London teems with peacocks, soaking up the sights and the rare English sun. Frustrated ravens and kingfishers weave between them, hurrying ahead, too caught up in their internal mindscape to adopt a languid pace and take in the urbanscape. The RSPB have set up camp at the base of the Millennium Bridge. Above our heads perch real live peregrine falcons, high up on the Bankside Tate chimney. A dozen telescope eyes wink in the light, focussed on the predators, and passers-by stop to have a gander, chuffed to see real wildlife. The grown-ups duck down and crane their necks to see the birds through the scopes. Their kids flock together and lark about. The older teenagers brood, grouse and snipe. A bald old coot is bending the ear of anyone who stands still too long, regaling them with the feeding and breeding habits of the birds above. The RSPB have a stand decked in bunting where they hawk their wares: annual membership £36; cuddly toy peregrines £7. A young child holds one in her clutch,

I saw the perfect personalised number plate while driving yesterday : D1 NYL I'm stuck on the Leeds-London train this morning. Ripening heads of wheat bow for the benediction of the sun outside the carriage window. I should be seeing Islington blur by as we steam into Kings Cross, but delays beset our journey, and we are still deep in the countryside. The train jerks into life, picking up speed. The intercom announces that we're 30 minutes behind schedule. Public transport stutters and a thousand people are late for work. I'm mesmerised by the railway tracks paralleling our own as we barrel towards the capital. Seemingly stationary, the rails flicker and gleam with reflected light. Periodically they swoop away, allowing a platform to intrude between us, before snaking back to cosy up as though we'd never been parted. Oh fickle rails.

I was in the garden one day, I must have been about 15 years old, and mum was nattering to the next door neighbour. My ears perked up when the neighbour asked mum whether the test results were back yet. I had no idea until then that anything was amiss, although we had had a record number of takeaways that week. It turned out that my mother had discovered a breast lump and was waiting for the results of a biopsy. She told me this a bit later in the day, saying that she hadn’t wanted to worry me unnecessarily. I learnt that my grandmother had breast cancer as a young woman, and that my great-grandmother had died from the disease. Mum's test results came back a week or so later and the lump was just a fatty deposit. I went to university and graduated. While I was job hunting, my grandmother collapsed and was rushed into hospital. Within a few weeks she was admitted to a hospice, and two weeks later she passed away. We were told that her body was riddled with metastasized cancer.

I’m nearly at the end of my two week vacation. The second week has been spoilt somewhat. My team leader texted on Tuesday asking to speak to me. It was Wednesday before we actually managed to catch up, so I spent a day uneasy, wondering what was so urgent my holiday had to be interrupted. I was told that I’ll be put on the rota starting the Monday I return from holiday. The call was a courtesy to let me know. Each person in the team spends a week on the rota. If something goes wrong out of hours, the problem will be escalated to the on-call person. I’ve been very concerned since it became apparent that they intended to include me in the rota. I could get a phone call at any time during the evening, night, or weekend with a problem so intractable that it has to be escalated. I’m going through life at the moment trying to act as though everything is ok, that I’m fine, and fully recovered. The truth is that I’m barely getting by. I fill my personal time with tasks in order to keep my mind

A rather supercilious customer services person told me that the B&Q timber cutting service is only for store bought materials, so I took my cupboard doors home. As so often happens, a solution came to me in my sleep. This morning I abandoned the useless Workmate, and used my solid dining table as a workbench. I was able to clamp the doors tightly enough to use the jigsaw to shave off the 12mm. It isn’t a perfect job, but I’m happy enough.

We have had a pretty dry spring and summer so far, all corrected in the last hour by torrents of the wet stuff being flung from the heavens along with thunderbolts and lightning. ♪♫♪ "Very very frightening me." ♫♪♫ Ahem. Got a little carried away there. The dog is glued to my heel, and the cat is hiding in the basement. The afternoon was spent investigating how I’m going to shave 12mm from two cupboard doors I’m installing in the basement to cover the electricity meter & consumer unit. I can either take 3mm off each side of both doors, or take 6mm of one edge of both doors. I bought a Black & Decker Workmate a few months ago, and I’d just like to state for the record that I whole heartedly regret ever laying eyes on it. I feel my fingers are at risk of being sliced off every time I have to unfold or collapse it. Whatever I’m trying to do the holes for the orange plastic material clamps are in the wrong place. The two wood surfaces don’t seem to be flat and level. Eve

Leeds holds a consultation about its proposed "Dog Control Orders" If you live in Leeds, please visit the website, and submit your response to the proposal. In addition to doing this, I emailed the Leeds Councillors and MPs: To: 'barry.anderson@leeds.gov.uk'; 'stuart.andrew@leeds.gov.uk'; 'suzi.armitage@leeds.gov.uk'; 'bernard.atha@leeds.gov.uk'; 'denise.atkinson@leeds.gov.uk'; 'andrew.barker@leeds.gov.uk'; 'sue.bentley@leeds.gov.uk'; 'ann.blackburn@leeds.gov.uk'; 'Cllr.david.blackburn@leeds.gov.uk'; 'judith.blake@leeds.gov.uk'; 'richard.brett@leeds.gov.uk'; 'colin.campbell@leeds.gov.uk'; 'andrew.carter@leeds.gov.uk'; 'les.carter@leeds.gov.uk'; 'ann.castle@leeds.gov.uk'; 'judith.m.chapman@leeds.gov.uk'; 'ben.l.chastney@leeds.gov.uk'; 'brian.cleasby@leeds.gov.uk'; 'david.congreve@leeds.gov.uk'; 'mick.coulson@leeds.gov.uk&#

I’ve taken to sitting up in my loft. Last year I got floor boards installed as the builder said it would make a great storage area. It is an old leaky slate roof. Every now and again I hear a thump on the bedroom ceiling which indicates another lump of compo has lost its tenuous grip on a slate and succumbed to gravity. The slates need taking off then re-laying over felt. Some steels, a couple of velux windows, insulation and plasterboard and I’d have a fantastic extra room. However budget constraints mean I put buckets under the drips, and wait for that magical lottery win (must remember to buy a ticket.) I went up there to check whether everything was ok, and ended up running the vacuum cleaner around to hoover up some of Leeds’ industrial history – black soot - which on windy days drifts down from rafters where it has lain since the days of tall chimneys and woollen mills. When I finished I sat at the loft hatch with my legs dangling over the landing, ready to swing onto the ladder