The Barnum Effect

Christmas has come and gone like a hurricane: weeks of worry and preparation, the pantry stocked to the brim with provisions, then the day itself passes in a whirlwind, leaving the house strewn with detritus in its wake. Now the storm has passed it is time to look back at 2010. In 2010 I learnt to crochet, use a soldering iron, hang doors, rewire light fittings, operate a sewing machine, and propagate succulents. And there’s more. I know there is. I’m sure there is. I managed to return to work, finally judged fit by the company doctor. Throughout the year I’ve seen various consultants with diverse maladies, though thankfully nothing has required major medical intervention. The general election inspired me to paint, an odd muse perhaps, but my target was the basement not a canvas. I listened to the journalists covering the election results as I covered the walls with paint. Whatever indignities this coalition of convenience may inflict, I suspect my three freshly painted basement

My dilapidated home has acquired a replacement fire surround for the living room. The current incumbent is neither original to the house nor overly imbued with charm. I’ve been trawling Ebay for a replacement for some months, and happily bagged a bargain just before Christmas. I brushed up on my “white van man” driving skills yesterday with a 230 mile round trip via Coventry to collect the fire surround. The most difficult thing to get used to in a van is having no rear view mirror. It feels like the whole rear of the van is one big blind spot. Suddenly the wing mirrors become all important, every lane change a leap of faith that these mirrors show the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Now I have this beautiful old edwardian oak fire surround my plans for renovating the front room are brewing.

Walking the dogs twice a day, rain or shine. Sunday mornings teaching dog obedience classes. Club secretary, then chairman. Aerobics at the gym. Evening classes learning Greek. From non-swimmer to qualified lifeguard via classes at the pool. Straight talking. Practical. Determined. Passionate. Missed.

The eclipsed moon hangs ghostly pink in the sky, strange and seemingly transported from the cover of an old science fiction book to hang above our heads. On the opposite horizon, glorious dawn colours announce the approaching sun. It is these orange and red sunbeams that light the setting moon, our atmosphere bending the longer red wavelengths round the earth. Orbital mechanics crank the orrery on to its next position, and we whiz along. Sun risen, moon set. Shortest day begun.

I’ve been out in my Fiesta sleigh today, delivering presents, just like Santa will in a few days. Afterwards I called in to see the folks, enjoyed a laugh, a bowl of homemade chicken soup and a slice of lemon drizzle cake.  Driving home after dark through freezing fog, I wondered whether all would be white come the morning. Will the fog crystalize in the night? Will I wake to an ice sculpted world? Arriving home the house felt warm until I shed my coat, and then the chill was apparent. The radiators cold, the boiler dark and silent. Despite desperate resuscitation attempts, I fear the boiler’s life has fled.  All doors and curtains are closed against the cold. It's 14.5 ° C in the house, I can see the mercury falling.  Jack Frost may get his claws inside my home before this night is out.

Our concept of reality is determined by our senses. Through our eyes we perceive that the universe consists of objects that we can interact with, confirmed by our sense of touch registering pressure when we make contact with another object. We have a construct of time because the input from our senses varies, and we can recollect the differences. As each combination of sensory input is never repeated precisely we determine that, as objects can move in relation to one another, so too does time “travel”, though only it would seem in one direction, and not in the same three dimensions we register physical objects moving in. We recognise that there other forces at work based on observing how objects move in relation to one another. We deduce gravity as a force that attracts objects to one another. An object forced up and away from the planet will gradually slow in its ascent, and then accelerate back to earth. We observe that some objects have a gravity like effect on a limited subse